I found this quote on Petrushka B's tumblr. I feel like there are lot of people I wish I could explain this to, who just can't understand why someone with good friends, a good home and a good family could be depressed.

"People think depression is about being sad. They think it’s just when you ‘feel down’. It’s not. It’s like a darkness that creeps over you and fills you. It drains all your emotions. It takes everything from you, and leaves you feeling hollow and numb. It’s not sadness, it’s not anger, it’s hopelessness. Imagine waking up and there being no color. Walking outside and feeling no wind. Eating a meal and tasting nothing. Holding someone and feeling completely alone at the same time. When you’re depressed, it’s not a bad mood. It’s a numb, empty, hollowness that seems to never leave. It’s feeling alone in a room full of people. You feel like there’s no hope left"

Yesterday after work I finally got my garlic tattoo coloured in. It looks lovely, but we're not quite sure if it's finished, just going to let it heal up for now. Let me tell you, getting your arm tattooed in the winter is a stupid move! Putting on sweaters really hurts! I suppose tattooing any part of your body that gets cold is a bad move in the winter. From now on, spring and summer tattoos only.

After the tattoo, I walked a couple blocks up North street to go to a christmas party for work. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't really that fun. Everyone there has known eachother forever and knew eachother's partners and they all have pretty similar lifestyles. I felt like such a black sheep showing up late with my arm all bandaged up and my secret santa gift wrapped in newspaper and packing tape.

We ate fancy hors d'oeuvres and everyone got progressively drunker and louder. After we exchanged gifts I booked it out of there, got home around 10:30 and went right to bed.

Now I have another entire week off work. I don't think I have enough hours now to qualify for holiday pay.