“It takes a massive, unbelievable amount of courage to stand up and say something is racist. Or sexist. Or ableist. Or any kind of -ist. A person who stands up does not do it for entertainment or enjoyment, because being looked upon as uncouth for interrupting others’ good times is not enjoyable or entertaining. Nor do they do it because it hurt their feelings, because -isms do not hurt feelings. -Isms are not that kind. -Isms kick people to the ground and hold them there for others to walk upon. Don’t be mistaken—if someone calls you racist or sexist or any -ist, they do not wish to annoy you or cause you problems. I can almost guarantee you that they are feeling scared or weak when they call you out, because what they are doing is telling someone who is walking upon them for a hand up, for consideration. And you need to give them that. You need to listen.”
I found this on Cera's tumblr today. It came at just the right time, since I've been feeling pretty crummy about all the that's been going on surrounding Friday's party.
Last night a delegate from upstairs came down to talk to me. I guess folks were offended by the words I chose to use (like "disappointed" and "fucked up"). I didn't go up there to just piss people off, I went up there because I needed to make sure they understood why what happened was so terrible. I didn't go up there to make enemies, if anything I went up there to repair and strengthen relationships for the future.
Having said that, I don't feel sorry for making anyone feel uncomfortable. Being called out is embarrassing and awkward. If it makes you feel good it probably isn't being done correctly.
I know everyone up there already considers me a "PC Weiner", but I genuinely want them to stop and think about how their actions affect others in the future. Maybe it's necessary for me to play the bad guy?
I don't know.
About Me
- Riot
- I'm an anarchist, feminist, artist, musician, friend, lover, human. I'm flawed and fucked up but I have a lot of love and I mean well. I tend to over-criticize the world around me, and I may come off as stuck up or rude, but I can assure you I'm just shy and terrified.
3 comments:
I was told today that Story mentioned the whole Skeletech Blightfest thing in her blog. Story mentioned something along the lines of not having friends at each other's throats.
So, in the interest of not being at each other's throats, please stop posting angry, onesided posts on the internet and stirring up drama.
Also, the point of callouts is to educate, not embarass or make uncomortable. If you just make people uncomfortable without educating, which is what Skeletech felt happened, then the callout is not effective.
That was Feather who made the previous comment and not Lis. It was just done on Lis' account by accident.
Obviously these aren't one-sided, as you've had the opportunity to comment here.
I don't understand why you're getting upset all over again, I thought you and I had talked and worked things out between us. What I wrote here is no different from what I told you when you came down to talk to me.
Also, if you have an issue with people writing one-sided angry posts, then have you spoken with Rachelle also?
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